So between last night and today things have been a very internal struggle. Last night my parents decided to chat with me again about how things have been in the house which is nothing but constant tension. We talked and I have realized that I can be selfish and stubborn, that is just a dark part of who I am. I constantly want to argue and clash so badly with authority figures because I always want to be my own person and I feel like those authority figures want to hold that back. I don't know why but for some reason I do maybe it is because I never want to be held back in my personal ability.
Today while at work I got into a huge fight with my supervisor because I feel like he is doing a terrible job and no matter how much we talked today I still feel like he doesn't get it and that never seems to crack into his mind. Plus just that struggle of caring but not caring at work sucks, on one hand I don't care because it is not my career, on the other I have to because I am a captain which warrants more responsibility than a normal day to day worker. It is tough.
So now I am stuck trying to figure out not only how I want my personality to be but also what approach I want to take in the film industry. I am thinking of maybe doing a feature the summer outside of college but that is the same time I could join the union for film work. We will see...
Thanks for the support,
Daniel Hess
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