Walking Past This

So last week while I wasn't home my dog jumped the fence and ran up to a lady walking her dog. My dog is a 95 pound German Shepherd and when she "plays," with a little dog she does get a little aggressive, however she did not really hurt the dog or anything, the vet said minor bruising which tells me that my dog was in fact just playing rough with this little dog. However since then this house I call home has been turned upside down and my parents are fighting to get rid of the dog, even threatening to just get rid of her when I am not around. Once I brought up the fact that legally I own the dog and if they do anything I will call the cops, of course my father who refuses to lose anything turns the psycho meter up and says some sh*t I don't even want to repeat.

Anyway why am I bringing all this up? Well the fact is this leaves me with no choice but to move out from my current residence and start living on my own. Is this earlier than I wanted to leave? Yes, but with no other real options, I don't have much of a choice. My parents threaten it at every chance they get, if we even get in the slightest of arguments, my dad always says "You know what, if that is the case you can just pack your stuff and leave." I am tired of it, sick of it, so that is exactly what I am going to do.

All my life since I am the oldest child, I have always sort of had it rough. Not only that but being the only son makes it even harder. The relationship I have had with my parents has never been good. I seem to be the one working the hardest but yet get punished the most. My sister who is two years younger than me on the other hand has had everything handed to her, cars, money, college, all of it scott free. Me on the other hand, I have had to work so hard to get exactly what I wanted and I have always tried to show my parents but they just don't care. It sucks ya know, mix all of that with the fact that for a while I was like the youngest of my cousins and I got picked on a lot. I have always been the outsider of my family and I don't know why but I just have.

However for all that is going on right now, I am truly blessed to be alive and thankful that I have what I have. Sure it is going to be hard living on my own but I am going to make it work as best I can and while the past has sucked it doesn't mean for one second I am going to stop fighting.

Random Movie Fact: In the 1980 film Raging Bull, when the real Jake LaMotta saw the movie, he said it made him realize for the first time what a terrible person he had been. He asked the real Vicki LaMotta "Was I really like that?". Vicki replied "You were worse."

Thanks for the support,
Daniel Hess

No Dice...Again

It seems to be a very growing trend with my productions where things don't get done. All it takes is one bad screw in a table to make it collapse and with each growing production that seems to be the case. This time it was my DP who is sick...now I want to make perfectly clear before I continue that I am not mad at this person, I am not pissed off, just extremely disappointed for obvious reasons.

The first reason being why not let me know earlier ya know? I mean come on when I am that sick I first let someone know and then if I am on the fence I stay very vocal with the situation. If I get 5 or 6 or even 8 texts the day before a shoot I will answer (unless I am completely pissed off at that person). I will not wait until late in the night to do so after the same texts over and over. In the end I would feel completely horrible especially if I haltered the entire production which is what happened in this situation. I am a professional I strive to do so because I am sick and tired of people being anything but and deciding because they are sick or wanna go outside and play not showing up. ESPECIALLY after I got out of my way to do nothing but helpful on their production which I did completely free and let you use some of my equipment again completely free.

This is yet again another reason why my productions can not be to the excellent quality I want them to be. With Spiritus and Nina I was so happy because I had a crew of people but then egos got in the way since people want to do everything and be the best at it. Once you start getting critical they hate you...but yet when I do something it is ok for you to shit all over it (sorry that was a tagent). Back to the main point I try to rebuild from losing a crew I could trust and start surrounding myself again but the one person I felt would help me the most is now screwing this shoot up the most. Yes being sick is not something that can be avoided but I was still ready to go even with a fever, sore throat, and sinus headache...because I am dedicated to my work. I know people who will go to insane lengths to make a production great through huge hurdles.

If the person I am talking about happens to read this I would like to extend my gratitude for what you have done for me but I hope you understand my frustration. This is a blog for the company and being as such I feel as though this is my time to both vent and inform everyone of the status of TTP. I have withheld your name because that is completely uncalled for but I urge you to please grow and continue to hone your skills. You have a lot of talent and despite all this I still want to work on something together just at a time where things are not so bad for you.

A final thing to understand is that I have been burned so much in my life...if I was a chicken I would be beyond overcooked by now...please don't be another helping of fire.

Thanks for the support,
Daniel Hess